Review: Moonshine County Express (1977)

USA/C-110m./Dir: Gus Trikonis/Wr: Hubert Smith & Daniel Ansley/Cast: John Saxon (J.B. Johnson), Susan Howard (Dot Hammer), William Conrad (Jack Starkey), Morgan Woodward (Sweetwater), Claudia Jennings (Betty Hammer), Maureen McCormick (Sissy Hammer), Dub Taylor (Uncle Bill), Jeff Corey (Preacher)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! If Moonshine County Express is remembered at all today, it is as one of the few big screen releases to feature Brady Bunch girl Maureen McCormick in a supporting role. That’s unfortunate; because McCormick’s vapid performance is the least interesting element in one of the more enjoyable entries in the 1970’s moonshine movie genre.

The film is a David versus Goliath story, with whiskey taking the place of the slingshot. When Pap Hammer, a minor league moonshiner, is murdered by his rich, well-connected rival, Jack Starkey (William Conrad), the small-timer’s daughters (Susan Howard, Claudia Jennings, and McCormick) are pressured to leave the county. The Hammer girls decide instead to stand up to Starkey, and they find just the right weapon in their pap’s secret stash of 90-proof, Prohibition-era, bonded whiskey. The girls undercut Starkey’s whiskey prices with the local merchants and provide higher quality booze to boot, so the big man’s business quickly dries up. When Starkey starts feelin’ the squeeze, he plans to slaughter the Hammer girls and steal their stash of primo whiskey. However, what Starkey doesn’t know is that his best driver (John Saxon) has switched sides and is in bed (figuratively and literally) with the girls.

While Moonshine County Express is no classic, it is an enjoyable time-waster that outshines most moonshine movies of the era in three areas:

1) The Script – While most of the 70's drive-in moonshine movies were merely variations on the insanely successful Thunder Road (1958), in which a speed demon drives circles around the feds and rival bootleggers, Moonshine County Express, focused instead on a trio of wronged women who take matters into their own hands. While John Saxon receives top billing as the typical lead-footed moonrunner, his character is secondary and weak-willed in relation to the ladies. The story is a welcome change to a stale formula.

2) The Cast – With the exception of the remarkably uncharismatic McCormick, the actors are far better than the material. The leads, Susan Howard and John Saxon, are never believable as hillbillies, but they give stronger performances than you usually find in a drive-in flick. However, the real fun is in watching A-list character actors, such as William Conrad, Dub Taylor, and Jeff Corey having a great time hamming it up.

3) The Booze – Moonshine movies are generally about driving booze rather than drinking it, but this is one film where the bootleggers actually enjoy their own product. While it would be going too far to say that this movie was soaked in corn liquor, it does at least get a little damp.

In short, Moonshine County Express is junk, but it is enjoyable junk. It may not go down as smoothly as prime, aged whiskey, but it ain’t rotgut either.

Drinks Consumed--Whiskey (moonshine and bonded) and beer

Intoxicating Effects--Bad breath, staggering, and slurred speech

Potent Quotables--DOT: Well, ladies, here’s to our pap. (She downs a slug)
BETTY: Alright. That do it to ya?
DOT: Oh, that’s nice. That’s nice. (She passes the jar to Sissy) Have some.
SISSY: Mmmm. He sure did make good ‘shine.
DOT: ‘Shine? Honey, that ain’t 'shine. That’s real Prohibition bootleg.

Video Availability--Moonshine County Express was released long ago on VHS, but it has never officially been released on disc. However, Yammering Magpie Cinema has a full frame collector’s copy available on DVD. The video quality is on par with VHS, but you may have no other opportunity to check out this rarity. The DVD can be purchased on Yammering Magpie’s Website HERE.

Similarly Sauced Cinema--Maureen McCormick starred in another drunken hillbilly drive-in flick, the unwatchable Texas Lightning (1981), directed by Gary Graver (the cinematographer of Moonshine County Express).

Moonshine County Express - Movie Poster - 27 x 40

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Booze News: Tickets for Tales of the Cocktail are now available!

Good morning, fellow inebriates,

As previously mentioned, your truly will be moderating "Hollywood Cocktails - Louisiana Style," a seminar at the upcoming Tales of the Cocktail festival in New Orleans on July 23rd. Ticket packages are now available for the fest (July 21-25) at the following link:

http://www.talesofthecocktail.com/tickets

Perhaps I'll see you there.

In the meantime, I will return later this weekend with a review of the 1977 drive-in flick, Moonshine County Express.

Cheers,
garv

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Booze News: The Return of Drunk History

Drunk History: Douglass & Lincoln (Starring Will Ferrell & Don Cheadle) from FODPresents

The day we've hoped for has finally arrived! Well, actually it's passed, but no matter. Drunk History is back!

As part of the premiere episode of HBO's sketch comedy show, Funny or Die Presents, there was a new drunk history lesson on the meeting of Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln. As with past Drunk History films, the historic events are enacted by recognizable actors, in this case Don Cheadle (Douglass), Will Ferrell (Lincoln), and Zooey Deschanel (Mrs. Lincoln). And once again, the history value is dubious, but the alcohol content is high.

Previous Drunk History videos have been available in full length on the Funny or Die Website. Unfortunately, only a taste of the new short has appeared online (embedded above). If you want to see the entire short, you'll have to tune into Funny or Die Presents on HBO. The premiere episode will be repeated several times beginning Tuesday, so check your listings or set your DVR.

By the way, the Douglass and Lincoln short recently won a jury prize for short filmmaking at this year's Sundance Film Festival. Another Drunk History short, Tesla and Edison, starring John C. Reilly and Crispen Glover was also entered in the competition, so that short will likely turn up on a future episode of Funny or Die Presents.

For our coverage of the earlier Drunk History shorts, click HERE.

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Booze News: Find Booze Movies on Facebook

Greetings once again, fellow inebriates,

The wheels of progress are constantly spinning, and Booze Movies is spinning right along with them (although I imagine that the spins are due at least in part to the whiskey). Nonetheless, today Booze Movies has joined the social networking revolution (huzzah). You can now find us on Facebook.

The main reason for this development is to spread our reach and make more people aware of the role that fermented fluid has played in film history. However, there are reasons that Booze Movies regulars may also choose to join the Facebook fan page. You can post feedback, share soused cinema photos, request movies to be reviewed, add discussion topics, or spread the Booze Movies love by suggesting the site to your Facebook friends.

To join our Facebook page, click on the link next to our favorite boozy beauty, Marion Ravenwood.

Find us on Facebook

By the way, if you want to keep up with happenings here at Booze Movies, click the "Follow" link on the navigation bar above or the "Follow" button in the "Followers" section on left.

Cheers,
garv

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Review: W.C. Fields and Me (1976)

USA/C-111m./Dir: Arthur Hiller/Wr: Bob Merrill/Cast: Rod Steiger (W.C. Fields), Valerie Perrine (Carlotta Monti), John Marley (Studio Head Bannerman), Jack Cassidy (John Barrymore), Billy Barty (Ludwig), Allan Arbus (Gregory LaCava), Dana Elcar (Agent Dockstedter)

“You don’t think a man would resort to taradiddle, do you?”
--W.C. Fields as Egbert Souse in The Bank Dick (1940)

W.C. Fields often resorted to taradiddle when relaying the story of his life. He was always more interested in telling an engaging story and getting a good laugh than in sticking strictly to the facts. Consequently, it wasn’t surprising that when a biopic of the Great Man was produced that it would bend the truth a little. However, not content to simply bend the truth, the producers of W.C. Fields and Me, twisted the truth into knots, locked it in a trunk, shot it full of holes, ran it over, and left it bleeding on the side of the road. Based loosely on the discredited and self-serving memoir of Fields’ mistress, Carlotta Monti, W.C. Fields and Me is almost entirely a work of fiction. Worse yet, it is a drab, uninteresting work of fiction that contains none of the Great Man’s flair for humor or for spinning a good yarn.

The film skips Fields’ childhood and his years on the vaudeville circuit as an eccentric juggler and begins when the comedian (Rod Steiger) was starring in the Ziegfield Follies. From that point forward, the banana oil is spread is huge strokes. After being fired from the Ziegfield Follies for not sticking to scripted material (never happened) and losing most of his money to a crooked broker (also untrue), W.C. Fields talks his diminutive pal Ludwig (never existed) into staking him to a trip to California. The comedian and midget (Billy Barty) take over the operation of a wax museum (a complete fabrication) while Fields tries to enter the movie business by writing scripts for films that he wouldn’t make for another ten years (unadulterated hooey). Fields’ scripts get him noticed (nope) by Paramount studios and he is offered a part in a movie. Through a montage of movie title cards (shown out of chronological order and including many of Fields later pictures made at Universal) Fields’ star rises at Paramount.

Here the “me” part of the title enters the picture. Chorus girl Carlotta Monti (Valerie Perrine) meets the Great Man when working on his film Mississippi (didn’t happen), and to her surprise (Ha!) she is invited to his home. Fields invites her to live with him as a sort of platonic (Double ha!) companion. She agrees to the arrangement, unaware that the Great Man is married (Triple ha!) and that he has sabotaged her career to avoid losing her (pure twaddle--Carlotta played several bit parts in films during her time with W.C., and he even featured her in a couple of his films.)

While many details of Fields’ true life story were unknown at the time that W.C. Fields and Me was made, it is baffling why the producers were so determined to get even the most obvious facts wrong, such as shuffling the order in which the films were made or in depicting Gregory LaCava as the director of movies actually directed by Eddie Sutherland. It also makes no sense why the screenwriter would choose to invent melodramatic soap opera when the events of Fields’ real life were much more interesting. The movie completely ignores the Great Man’s rocky career in silent films, the illness that kept him off the screen between 1936 and 1938, his radio feud with Charlie McCarthy, how the timing of his return to films kept him from accepting the role of the Wizard of Oz, censorship skirmishes with Universal, the battle of egos between Fields and Mae West, etc.

The film even fails to depict the Great Man’s tempestuous relationship with the bottle correctly. In the movie, Steiger’s Fields is pro-booze all the way. However, while W.C. always saw the comic possibilities of liquor-laced humor, his true feelings on alcohol were much more conflicted. In his vaudeville days, he shunned the bottle, because he feared it would diminish his abilities as a juggler. Still, he traveled with booze in his trunk to encourage other performers to keep him company after the show. After succumbing to the lure of drink, he tried to give it up at various times in his career, chewing toothpicks obsessively during his dry bouts. He always fell off the wagon, but on his death bed the Great Man admitted to Eddie Cantor that “I’ve often wondered how far I could have gone had I laid off the booze.”

Many of the picture's inaccuracies could easily be forgiven if it correctly captured the spirit of the comedian. Unfortunately, though Rod Steiger tries to keep his portrayal of Fields from becoming a caricature, his performance suffers from the fact that he is singularly unfunny. Of course, Steiger isn’t helped by the fact that the script chooses to avoid using any the Great Man’s classic stage and film material and instead substitutes sub par hokum. It is a shame that the funniest man to ever stagger in front of a movie camera was saddled with such a mirthless biopic.

A Note--If you are interested in the real Fields, I’d highly recommend James Curtis’ definitive book W. C. Fields: A Biography. The documentary W.C. Fields Straight Up also presents a satisfying, well-rounded portrait of the Great Man. By the way, a picture of the real W.C. Fields and Carlotta Monti is presented to the right of this paragraph.

Drinks Consumed--Gin, whiskey, tequila, and unnamed cocktails

Intoxicating Effects--Sneaking sips, staggering, slurred speech, the giggles, harmonizing, bickering, and public disturbance

Potent Quotables--FIELDS: (Sneaking a swig from a bottle before filming a scene) Mm. Like blood to a vampire.

Video Availability--W.C. Fields and Me has never been released on video, but Yammering Magpie Cinema has a collectors copy available on DVD. The DVD is full frame and the video quality is variable (Yammering Magpie’s site ranks the video quality a “B”). Still, this collector’s copy may be the only way you’ll ever see this rarely screened flick.

Similarly Sauced Cinema--Donald O’Connor stars in The Buster Keaton Story (1957), another mostly fictional biopic about a comedy legend who had his problems with drink.

W.C. Fields Comedy Collection Vol. 1 (The Bank Dick / My Little Chickadee / You Can't Cheat an Honest Man / It's a Gift / International House)

W.C. Fields Comedy Collection, Vol. 2 (The Man on the Flying Trapeze / Never Give A Sucker An Even Break / You're Telling Me! / The Old Fashioned Way / Poppy)

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